Having successfully quashed the patriarchy in its entirety, we must resolve ourselves to elect a matriarch, given the choice of Hannah Todd, Margaret Roddy, and Tay Jacobe. Already a shining city on a hill, a beacon of light for all lesser colleges, Wiess has for all intents and purposes self-actualized as a college, leaving no room for growth or improvement, so let our voting reflect this.
Let it also be known that any candidate for office within the college government who runs on a basis of change and 'improvement' seeks to deceive the populous and steer our treasured Wiess toward the rocks for God knows what aim. Perhaps it is their own joy of destruction. Even as I type these words I shudder at the notion that one should ever dare perceive an imperfection within the body of Wiess College. Let us, as proper Wiessmen, display our disdain for such politicians by casting our votes in the upcoming election entirely for those whom we are closest friends with, for friendship is the ultimate display of political qualification and leadership. However, if your friend is a treasonous Wiessmen, then shun them for their iniquities, and find new friends who are true lovers of Wiess College.
Wiess is so perfect and unblemished that if it were a flower it would be a daisy in perfect radiance under the noon-day sun, and if it were a boat it should be the Titanic, whose splendor none can come close to rivalling. To be especially reviled should be those who live with a foot on sea and a foot on shore, existing both within and outside of the college. Such duplicitousness should be shunned entirely, for there is only one allegiance which deserves all respect, time, and affection, and that is to Wiess College.
I laugh at the idiocy of members of the college who, being marginally alienated from the body, seek to offer an outside perspective. They offer changes and improvements to make the college a 'better place'. Hah, fools! Do they not know they are alienated because of their idiocy' because of their lack of unwavering reverence for the college in all things? As a member of the inner circle of Wiess culture, I pity them and their fickleness, and wish them well in life outside the Acabowl.
Disrespect by political hopefuls for the order and tradition that has made Wiess so glorious and well regarded has no place here. Let it, and the trumpeters of change be banished to the depths of Hanszen. And if a candidate for government should insist 'Wiess, though a lovely place, has its flaws, including a lack of genuine inclusion,' let them be banished to Hanszen Old Section, for such treasonous speak deserves no softer a damnation.